remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
