That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
