We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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