So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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