mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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