dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
