this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
