Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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