i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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