Are we in a gay sports bar?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
