Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
