i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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