Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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