he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
