Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
