I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
