I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
