Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
