Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
