So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
