oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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