The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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