We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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