For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
