why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
