Non-Jews are for practice
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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