just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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