btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
