If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is Oprah even human
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
