Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
