I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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