In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
