One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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