I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have already put on my inside pants.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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