just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
