I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
