remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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