i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
