Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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