A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
