Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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