belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
