whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
