I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
