sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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