at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
