this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
