"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
