I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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