i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
